I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
I can feel your judgement through the phone
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
Randomize
