im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
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