Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
Randomize
