drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
