I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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