i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
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