So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
