Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
it's not cheating when I paid for it
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize
