do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
Bring me that man meat
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
Randomize