dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize
