let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
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