i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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