Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
Randomize
