It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
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