my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
