someone owes me an orgasm
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
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