Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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