Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Randomize
