Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(813): View more from Florida

right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.

(1-813): View more from Florida

only on the fourth of july.

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(608): View more from Wisconsin

It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.

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(425): View more from Washington

Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming

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(302): View more from Delaware

My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.

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(440): View more from Ohio

At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."

(216): View more from Ohio

Valid question

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(416): View more from Toronto

I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty

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(203): View more from Connecticut

So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.

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(508): View more from Massachusetts

He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.

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(715): View more from Wisconsin

I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.

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