sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
Randomize
