I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
Randomize
