I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
Randomize
