They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
