remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
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