Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
North Korea, Best Korea!
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
Randomize
