sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
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