I didn't shave. On purpose
I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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