that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
I'll bet she douches with gravy.
operation have a gay friend backfired
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
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