Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
they call him Oral-B. enough said
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Two words: nipple clamps
Randomize
