I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
Randomize
