Well douche your snatch and let's go!
I like to think it a success when the cops are called
my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
Randomize
