he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
Randomize
