Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
