Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
Randomize
