yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
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