3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
Randomize
