I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
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