either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
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