Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
Randomize
