she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
