So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
Just cropdusted the office
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Randomize
