Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
