She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
It's no shave November. This is our time.
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
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