Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
Randomize
