I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
Randomize
