Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
Your topless pictures make me question reality
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
Randomize