There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
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