at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Randomize
