hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
Randomize
