He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
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