Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize
