the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
Randomize