i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
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