I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Randomize
