is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Randomize
