she asked me if the dress made her look fat, i told her no - the fat made her look fat.
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
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