my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
Randomize