Already got asked if we're dating
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
