Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
Randomize
