we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Randomize
