Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
Randomize
