Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
When you have to have Siri remind you that you're on your period cuz you're so drunk you keep forgetting about tampons it might be time to call it a night.
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
