omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
Randomize
