The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
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