Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
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