I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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