Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
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