This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
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