i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
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