do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
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