I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
